


It’s all over (isn’t it?)

by hyuniebun



Series: soonhoon oneshots based on years&years songs [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: (idk if it even really counts as angst tho), (unhealthy bc lack of communication), Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Making Up, Post-Break Up, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 13:00:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14619132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuniebun/pseuds/hyuniebun
Summary: Soonyoung and Jihoon broke up two years ago. Now they’re both performing at a festival and Soonyoung is totally fine. Jihoon has a new boyfriend? That’s cool with him. He, too, has moved on, right?





	It’s all over (isn’t it?)

**Author's Note:**

> this is veeeeeeery loosely based on foundation by years&years (i came up with the idea while listening to the song, but ended up straying very far from it)

“Jihoon’s here.” Wonwoo says as a greeting and Soonyoung tries his best to keep his face from showing the way those words slice into his heart a little. He gives his best friend a look, hoping it looks nonchalant. “And I should care because?” _Good_ , he thinks, his voice delivered that in a stable manner. Wonwoo just pats his shoulder, face doing that thing that always makes Soonyoung want to punch him, but he holds back.

He’s okay. It’s been two years since he broke up with Jihoon. Or Jihoon broke up with him. It was mutual really, so there’s nothing to feel about any of this. Soonyoung thinks he should’ve seen it coming, Jihoon being here. It’s a music festival after all. That’s how they met five years ago and fell in love; high on the music, sweat dripping, slightly intoxicated, watching their favourite artists on stage. Now they’re both somebody’s favourite artists, performing on stages everywhere. 

“I think his new boyfriend is here with him.” Wonwoo’s voice breaks Soonyoung out of his thoughts and this time there’s no chance his expression isn’t mirroring the slight ache in his heart. He sees his best friend make the face again and this time decides to give into the urge, punching him in the stomach. Wonwoo doubles over slightly and Soonyoung laughs, before walking off to find the trailer with his name on it.

It takes him a little longer than he thought, getting held up by a couple of other artists on his way there, some his friends and some he’d like to consider friends. One of them, Seungcheol, actually knows where his trailer is and takes him there. “Thanks! See you later?” Soonyoung makes a motion to indicate taking shots and Seungcheol joins him, clinking his imaginary glass with Soonyoung’s.

Seungcheol leaves to get to his own trailer and Soonyoung takes a closer at the name placard to see who he’ll be sharing the trailer with. He really likes the idea of possibly meeting somebody new. Instead the name he reads makes him want to run far away. ‘ _Lee Jihoon - Woozi_ ’ is printed right below his own name ‘ _Kwon Soonyoung - Hoshi_ ’. It reminds him uncomfortably of a couple of years ago, before either of them had gained much fame and they still loved each other, when they decided on using stage names, both of them ending up choosing something that the other suggested.

Soonyoung really wants to run away. It’s not that he hasn’t seen Jihoon since their breakup, but it was always in passing, not like this; an environment in which they’ll actually have to talk to each other. And what if Wonwoo’s right and Jihoon has his new boyfriend with him? Soonyoung doesn’t think he could take that. He’s about to turn and literally get as far away from the trailer, from this nightmare, as possible, when the door opens and Jihoon steps out.

The sound of the metal door hitting the side of the trailer rings through Soonyoung’s ears and his feet are suddenly rooted to the spot, breath stuck in his throat. Jihoon is still as beautiful as ever, looking pretty much the same as the last time he saw him, only his hair is black now instead of blond. Soonyoung’s heart skips a little and he’s mentally punching himself for still being this weak for his ex-boyfriend.

Jihoon breaks into a huge smile and comes closer to him. He’s being hugged. He’s being hugged by Jihoon. Soonyoung’s brain can’t process what’s happening, bursting with a thousand possibilities. Weirdly instead of being happy about it, his heart is giving him a lot of pain because if Jihoon is hugging him like this, carefree and as if they didn’t breakup on relatively bad terms despite it having been mutual, then Soonyoung is the only one who hasn’t moved on yet.

“I need to go right now, but we definitely need to grab a drink later!” Jihoon is smiling up at him and Soonyoung finds himself nodding, brain still too busy trying to figure out what just happened, what this means. Jihoon hugs him again and then he’s gone, leaving him standing in front of their trailer in a frozen state. What the fuck?

Soonyoung continues to just stand there for a good while, until a loud noise finally gets Soonyoung back to himself and he quickly makes his way into the trailer, their trailer, Jihoon's and his. Once inside, after making sure the door is locked, he’s happy to find his stage clothes and makeup already laid out for him. Even though he still has some time before his performance, he wants to be as far away as possible from this trailer before Jihoon comes back.

Soonyoung tries his best not to look over at Jihoon’s half of the trailer, busying himself with deciding on what to wear. Looking at his options frustrates him a great deal because for the first time he can’t pretend that everything about his styling for performances isn’t based on things he knows Jihoon didn’t like too much.

The colours he combines, the patterns, the excessive rips in his jeans and shirts, the platform shoes, even his smokey eye makeup and long fringe hanging into his eyes in dyed strands, a metallic purple at the moment, are all things Jihoon disliked. Or at least had other things he definitely preferred over them.

Soonyoung really wishes he could disappear right now, but the sudden knocking on the trailer’s door stops him from doing something stupid. He quickly opens the door and is met by a tall man with a big smile on his face that drops into a surprised ‘o’ after seeing him. “I’m so sorry! I thought Jihoon...” The man pauses, trying to peak into the trailer past Soonyoung’s frame. “He’s not here?” His face falls for a moment, but then he’s back to smiling that big smile and pushes past Soonyoung into the trailer.

Soonyoung doesn’t know who this man is and he certainly doesn’t have the patience or emotional capacity right now to deal with any of this. He’s about to tell him to leave, when the man speaks up again. “I’m Kim Mingyu. Jihoon’s...friend? Yeah, friend.” Soonyoung’s heart twists at Mingyu’s words, the weird pause before the ‘friend’ implying something more. Now he wants to deal with him even less, since this Kim Mingyu is most likely Jihoon’s new boyfriend that Wonwoo talked about.

Of course, Soonyoung can’t just tell him to leave, but he desperately wants to before his heart snaps in his chest. “He said he had something to do? Don’t know what, though.” Once again, Soonyoung is proud of how stable his voice sounds, hands busy with cleaning up the makeup supplies strewn around and eyes focused solely on his task. His mind is going haywire. Jihoon complained about his height a couple of times, but Mingyu is definitely taller than him. He really must have moved on for good.

“So you saw him?” Mingyu’s excited tone makes Soonyoung look at him, but before he can ask what kind of a question that was when _yes, obviously, we’re sharing a fucking trailer_ , Wonwoo bursts through the door. “You fucking dickhead! I can’t believe you-“ Wonwoo cuts himself off as soon as he notices they’re not alone. “Oh! Hi, again!” Soonyoung rolls his eyes at the change of tone in his best friend’s voice and turns back to the makeup supplies. 

He finds himself feeling almost grateful towards Wonwoo, talking to Mingyu while he’s getting ready, but once he’s done and actually looks at the two, he feels annoyed. Wonwoo is genuinely having a good time and Soonyoung knows it’s irrational, but he would like it if his best friend could maybe not befriend his ex-boyfriend’s new boyfriend. He doesn’t expect him to hate Mingyu, they don’t actually know him and Soonyoung doesn’t really have any bad feelings towards him, but that doesn’t mean they have to be his friend. 

Soonyoung just wants to leave, he’s ready and Jihoon might come back any moment and he’s really not planning on being here when he returns, so he clears his throat to get the two men’s attention. “Let’s look around a bit?” He’s pointedly looking at Wonwoo only, but it’s Mingyu who gets up first and walks towards him, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “I’m in!”

Wonwoo fails at stifling a laugh at the smile, most likely looking very uncomfortable, on Soonyoung’s face and he shoots his best friend a glare. This is a fucking nightmare. Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, he spends the entirety of his free time before his performance, walking around with his traitor of a best friend and the New Boyfriend.

He actually finds himself enjoying Mingyu’s company and that just makes it worse. It’s weird because if he met him any other way, he might’ve asked him out and even weirder, he gets why Jihoon would like him. Getting to know him isn’t helping Soonyoung at all, just making things worse because now he has to accept not only his failure of getting over Jihoon, but also the fact that Jihoon found someone better.

Half an hour before his performance, he excuses himself to go touch up his makeup. Only he’s too terrified to go back to his own trailer, in case Jihoon is there, instead walking around to find Minghao’s. He is, unlike a certain ‘best friend’, actually a good friend and he’s sure he’ll have no problem lending him some eyeliner. Plus, Minghao always gives the best advice and doesn’t sugarcoat things, so maybe he can tell him about Jihoon and Mingyu as well.

Soonyoung finds the trailer rather quickly and immediately knocks, instead of Minghao, Hansol opens the door. They greet each other with their ‘secret’ handshake and the younger pulls him inside, giving him a hug. “I was waiting for you to drop by!” Soonyoung looks at him confusedly, but Hansol just raises an eyebrow and Soonyoung supposes all of their friends already know about Jihoon and him having to share a trailer.

It’s weird having so many mutual friends, but Soonyoung always tried his best to never make any of them feel like they had to choose and he knows Jihoon did the same. It worked out somehow with everybody being busy with making music and performing and Jihoon’s and Soonyoung’s schedules rarely overlapping. While in the beginning it was hard with some of them slipping up, now it’s a blessing really, everybody knowing what to avoid in conversations.

Soonyoung decides he doesn’t want to prod any further and instead goes straight to what he knows is Minghao’s makeup. “He won’t mind me touching up with his stuff, right?” Hansol just laughs and gestures for him to go ahead, so he does. His eyeliner doesn’t actually need much reapplying nor does anything else for that matter, but it was his best excuse to get away from Mingyu.

Hansol ends up inviting himself to watch his performance from backstage and Soonyoung is glad for the company. The pleasant thrum of nerves under his skin is making him giddy, he really loves performing more than anything else. The crowd is incredible and Soonyoung ends up going a little over time, but he’s the closing artist for this stage anyway, so it doesn’t really matter and he’s enjoying himself too much.

With the adrenaline from the performance still coursing through his veins, he’s basically running to his trailer, wanting to get changed as quickly as possible, so he can start on getting drunk. It’s only when he steps inside his trailer that he realises his mistake. The one person he was so desperately hoping to avoid is standing right there in front of him. Jihoon is as sweaty as him, but already dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, probably finished his own performance just a few moments ago.

“Soonyoung! Perfect timing!” Mingyu’s voice alerts him to the fact that he’s not alone with Jihoon, that in fact there are two other people in the trailer. Soonyoung’s eyes land on Wonwoo and he can’t help but feel a little hurt that his best friend probably didn’t even bother watching him on stage. Before he can say anything, Mingyu speaks up again. “Wonwoo and I are going to explore the festival grounds a little, so you two should catch up!”

Soonyoung feels like somebody just stabbed him in the chest, heart tightening painfully and stomach twisting. _Fuck no. This isn’t going to happen._ He looks towards Wonwoo, hoping his best friend will at least for one second of his pathetic life act like a best friend, but of course Soonyoung doesn’t have such luck. Wonwoo just smirks at him and leaves with Mingyu.

They’re alone in the trailer now. Just him and Jihoon. The only sound Soonyoung can hear is the rapid beating of his heart, otherwise it’s silent. There’s bile rising in his throat and he wishes he could be able to stand in front of Jihoon and talk to him normally without his head and heart screaming at him to let him know he’s still stupidly in love with him.

Jihoon moves around, grabbing something, before coming closer and handing Soonyoung a bottle of water. “They seem to get along rather well.” The small smirk on Jihoon’s face throws him off. If Mingyu is his boyfriend, wouldn’t he feel a little less pleased about the way he’s been flirting with Wonwoo. And Soonyoung, actually. Maybe it’s just his personality then, so Jihoon doesn’t have anything to be worried about.

Soonyoung is annoyed at himself for actually feeling concerned for Jihoon and decides to just down the entire contents of the bottle. He really needed the water, performing and this uncomfortable atmosphere making his throat dry, and it finally seems to push him back into action, moving to his side of the trailer to get changed.

He’s confused with Jihoon’s new behaviour, all friendly and as if they _talk_. They’ve always ignored each other as best as they could, keeping their distance, only exchanging curt nods in greeting, all in line with what they agreed to after breaking up. Soonyoung supposes it’s his right to get irritated at the situation, a stark enough contrast to give him whiplash.

It’s only when he’s down to his boxers that he realises Jihoon is staring at him, so he straightens up and levels his gaze at Jihoon. “What?” It comes out harsher than he means to, but Soonyoung is definitely annoyed at the sudden change in the way Jihoon is acting towards him. The constant tightness in his chest, since he found out he was sharing a trailer with him, has been wearing him down. 

Jihoon slowly comes closer, almost as though he was testing if Soonyoung would run away and while that is exactly what Soonyoung wants to do, his pride has taken too many hits today, so he doesn’t budge, just continues to stare at Jihoon. When the other is close enough he has to tilt his head back slightly, Soonyoung finally takes in the emotions on Jihoon’s face. 

It’s almost too much. He doesn’t remember the last time Jihoon looked at him without masking his feelings, the last time he looked this vulnerable, this sincere. “Soonyoung. I know I have no right to say this, but I…” Jihoon’s voice sounds so raw, stopping before he can finish his sentence to swallow down the tears Soonyoung can see welling up in his eyes.

He’s holding his breath, just waiting for Jihoon to continue because this is new in an entirely different way. This isn’t Jihoon acting friendly with him. This isn’t Jihoon acting in general, something he did a lot towards the end of their relationship. They both did, trying so hard to cling onto the pretend they were okay, that their relationship wasn’t falling apart. This is the way Jihoon gets when he’s being honest and ready to bare his soul.

Soonyoung almost wants to reach out and touch him in someway to reassure him, but they don’t have that kind of relationship at the moment and he’s afraid it might just stop the other from continuing. Jihoon clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “I have no right, but I still need to say it. I miss you, Soonyoung. I’ve been missing you every day since we broke up and I’m sick and tired of not being able to move.”

For some reason Soonyoung is starting to feel like this is going to be a second breakup and it makes the anger rise in his chest again. If Jihoon thinks he’ll let him do this to him a second time, he’s out of his fucking mind. Before he can tell him to fuck off, Jihoon is suddenly even closer, hands cupping his cheeks and forcing him to keep the eye contact.

“I know this is selfish, but let me finish. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t moved on. I can’t! Being in love with you is something I can’t stop no matter how hard I try.” Soonyoung can feel tears starting to prick at his eyes and he curls his hands into fists, nails digging into his palms to stop the tears from spilling. He isn’t sure if it’s the anger or the fact he gets what Jihoon is saying, knows it all first hand, has wanted to tell him the same thing.

“To be honest, trying made me miserable. I don’t _want_ to stop loving you, Soonyoung.” Just like that all the anger drains out of Soonyoung and uncurls his fists in favour of pulling Jihoon closer, clutching onto him like he’s his lifeline. They’re both crying, clutching onto each other, Jihoon’s fingernails digging into Soonyoung’s back. It hurts, but it keeps Soonyoung grounded, reassuring him this is real, this isn’t one of his dreams that has him waking up with tears streaming down his face and his chest feeling like it’s ripped open.

It takes a while for them to calm down and Jihoon starts pressing kisses against his chest, tiptoeing to reach his neck and Soonyoung knows where this is going. _Fuck_ , he wants to give into the feeling of Jihoon’s lips on his skin, but there’s more they need to talk about. He places his hands on Jihoon’s shoulders and puts some distance between them. 

For a moment Soonyoung just takes in the sight of the other man in front of him and allows himself to revel in the warm feeling in his chest, the smile on his face hurting his cheeks. He realises he’s been staring at Jihoon for too long, when he sees the slight panic on his face, so he quickly squeezes his shoulders, before gently placing his hands on the other’s cheeks, just like he had done before.

“I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you and if these two years apart from you have taught me anything, it’s that I’m always going to love you.” Soonyoung’s voice cracks on the last few words, too overcome by how overwhelming everything about this. He’s always been terrified of the idea that he would love somebody this much and after their breakup all his worst fears had been confirmed, but he doesn’t want to be afraid anymore. He just wants Jihoon and wants Jihoon to want him back just as much.

The smile on Jihoon’s face makes a pleasant weight settle in Soonyoung’s heart, a missing piece must’ve been returned to him. Still, he can’t let this happiness overshadow all the problems they had in the past. “But Jihoon! _Fuck!_ We were terrible!” Jihoon’s hands come up, covering his own and he’s nodding, breathy ‘ _I know_ ’s leaving his mouth. “We have a lot of work to do. A lot of _talking_. But don’t you think it’s worth it?”

Soonyoung thought this conversation would be more of a struggle, but it’s so different with both of them being honest, so easy. He isn’t fighting against the walls of pretence they built up during their relationship because the walls were broken down the moment they broke up and now it’s just the two of them, real and tangible. And it feels right, it feels good, like they can really do it.

The realisation gives his heart all the power and it takes over before his brain can intervene. He’s leaning down, crashing their lips together, just wanting to feel every inch of Jihoon again and Jihoon is there, giving back as much as he’s getting. Soonyoung’s hands know their way around his body without him having to think about anything, Jihoon’s clothes hitting the floor one by one, until they’re both just left in their boxers. 

When Jihoon’s hands get a hold of the waistband of his boxers, Soonyoung’s brain momentarily cuts in, making him halt the other’s hands and look at him. “You’re not going to leave me again after this, right?” It’s almost too heavy and while he’s just afraid Jihoon will fuck him and leave, a part of him is also talking about a bigger, more important commitment. The other takes a steadying breath, something Soonyoung knows means he’s willing away the lust clouding his mind, obviously readying himself for a longer conversation and it’s all that he needs as confirmation. 

Jihoon never used ‘to waste’ his arousal, jerking off in bed right next to Soonyoung, if he was too tired for sex. The only times he witnessed Jihoon ignoring an erection where related to matters involving his career as a singer. It’s almost stupid that this simple act means so much to Soonyoung that it’s enough for him to trust Jihoon not to leave him and continue talking about the uncomfortable truths of their past relationship after they’ve fucked.

He reattaches their lips, startling Jihoon, but the other doesn’t resist for longer than the duration of his surprise, before kissing back, hands going back to the waistband of Soonyoung’s boxers, taking them off. Soonyoung steps out of them and pulls Jihoon’s down as well, before lifting him up and setting him down the small sofa inside their trailer, just about big enough to accommodate them.

At first Soonyoung takes his time, kissing every inch of Jihoon’s body, letting his hands rediscover every part of him, but every soft moan leaving Jihoon’s mouth makes his dick twitch, erection increasingly painful to ignore. Jihoon grabs a fistful of his hair and pulls him up, pressing their lips together open mouthed, tongues twirling together. His hips snap up against Soonyoung’s and the brush of their dicks makes them break away from the kiss in favour of moaning. Jihoon leans forward slightly and nibbles on Soonyoung’s earlobe, hips pressing up once more.

“Fuck me.” The demand alone is enough to make him almost come and he quickly gets off Jihoon to get some lube and a condom, easily finding both in Jihoon’s bag where they’ve always been. He can’t help the smirk when he sees the condom is not only his size, but also his favourite brand, it’s good to know Jihoon remembers. Walking back over to the other man, he holds the condom up, winking at him, and Jihoon bursts into laughter, hiding his face in his hands for a moment. “Caught me. Although it hasn’t fit anyone in a while.” 

It’s Soonyoung’s turn to laugh. “Should I be offended?” Jihoon lightly slaps at him, when he’s close enough. “You know I mean the opposite of that!” He’s never had a particular ego when it comes to the size of his dick, knows he’s slightly on the bigger side, but has always been more concerned with his performance, taking pride in being able to pleasure his partner. Still, it feels nice to hear Jihoon say it and it only spurs him on in wanting to make Jihoon feel good.

He nudges Jihoon’s legs open, grabbing the back of his knees and pulling them up, pressing them forward until his thighs are touching his stomach. Soonyoung takes a moment to just admire the sight of Jihoon’s pink hole. It makes his throat go dry, he can see that Jihoon prepared himself, although it must’ve been a little while ago, and he wants to get a taste so badly, but right now is not the time. He settles down in front of Jihoon on the sofa, opening the lube and pouring a generous amount over his fingers.

Jihoon is about to protest, but Soonyoung doesn’t give him a chance, pushing one finger inside of him and pressing a kiss against the head of his cock, making him moan. The second finger goes in smoothly, but when he enters a third, Jihoon hisses a little and he’s glad he would never skip preparation, even if his life depended on it, hurting Jihoon during sex is the last thing he’d ever want. Jihoon’s moans are getting more needy and Soonyoung knows it’s time.

He pulls his fingers out, Jihoon whining at the loss, wiping them on the sofa which earns him a breathy chuckle from the other. Pumping his dick a few times, he grabs the condom and rips it open with his teeth, rolling it on and coating the length thoroughly with lube. Jihoon is watching him the whole time through slightly hooded eyes, fingertips tracing his own dick, too aroused for more and Soonyoung leans forward, capturing his lips in a kiss.

Making sure Jihoon is fully distracted by their kiss, he guides the tip of his dick to Jihoon’s hole and pushes in, one swift motion until he’s fully inside of him. Jihoon moans into his mouth, hands gripping onto his back and nails digging into his skin and Soonyoung hopes he’ll leave deep red scratch marks. He knows Jihoon loves this moment, Soonyoung filling him up completely while he waits for him to adjust, knows he loves to draw it out and he’s willing to let him have all the time in the world. 

Jihoon pulls him closer, heels digging into his ass, and Soonyoung’s happy this preference hasn’t changed, enjoys the way Jihoon’s back arches and they’re so close, connected to each other. After a moment longer, Jihoon gives him the go and he pulls out almost all the way, only the tip of his dick still inside, before slamming back in. He builds a quick rhythm, angling his dick the way he knows will have him hitting Jihoon’s prostate with every thrust.

Soonyoung has missed this so much, the tight heat around his dick, the sound of Jihoon moaning his name, how his eyes roll back and he throws his head back, dick bouncing between them. Jihoon likes coming untouched and he’s never had trouble fulfilling that desire, but he loves the weight of Jihoon’s dick in his hand, so he circles his fingers around the length and starts jerking him off in time with his thrusts.

Jihoon is writhing under him and Soonyoung knows he’s close, fuck, he’s so damn close himself, so he increases his pace, hitting Jihoon’s prostate more frequently. Jihoon tightens around him and comes, painting both their chests with streaks of come. Soonyoung follows suit, thrusting in one last time and coming, fully inside of Jihoon. Jihoon pulls him into a kiss, come smearing between their chests, but neither of them could care less.

Soonyoung can feel his dick starting to soften inside of Jihoon and he finally pulls out, taking off the condom and tying it to throw it away. He wants to get something to wipe them clean with, but Jihoon takes the condom from his hands, dropping it next to the sofa and pulls him back on top of him. “Later. Just cuddle me now.” Soonyoung doesn’t have to hear him say it twice, immediately shifting them into a more comfortable position with Jihoon lying his head on his chest and their legs tangling. 

They’re quiet for a moment, but a thought pops into Soonyoung’s head that he can’t help but blurt out. “Why did you hug me earlier? We’ve always avoided eye contact when we saw each other.” Soonyoung mumbles into Jihoon’s hair, fully aware it’s a weird question to ask first thing after sex, but Jihoon just laughs, breath tickling his neck. “You always wanted me to show more affection. Even though you never said anything.” Jihoon kisses his neck gently and Soonyoung is hit by a wave of fear.

Jihoon’s words summed up the worst problems of their relationship. While Soonyoung would never say what was bothering him, Jihoon would always know, but never do anything about it. Their communication was terrible and it affected the way they treated each other significantly. Soonyoung doesn’t want to experience that again; just wanting to please Jihoon because he loves him so much, but at the same time growing to hate him because of his own incapability to tell him what bothers him.

What if this time it’ll be the same? What if they’ll fall back into their old routine? What scares Soonyoung the most is that he doesn’t mind the thought of hurting again, swallowing his concerns, if it means he can be with Jihoon again. He knows it’s pathetic. Jihoon stops kissing his neck, pulling away a little to be able to look him in the eyes. “I can hear you thinking, you know. Mind sharing what’s on your mind?” 

Soonyoung is surprised. Jihoon, _scratch that_ , old-Jihoon would’ve never admitted to knowing something is bothering Soonyoung, would’ve never asked him to talk about it. It makes his heart skip pleasantly and he kisses Jihoon’s lips softly. He wants to say it’s for courage, but it’s really just because he can and feels the need to catch up on the two years he’s missed out on kissing Jihoon. 

“I was just thinking about the reasons we broke up in the first place.” Soonyoung’s voice is quiet, they’re so close and it’s only the two of them in the trailer, but he still feels the need to make sure his words will only reach Jihoon’s ears. “You mean, you giving and giving and me receiving and receiving?” Soonyoung chuckles at that, shaking his head. This Jihoon lying in his arms is definitely different from the one he left two years ago. Yet at the same time, he’s still the same, maybe he learned a lot from their breakup, maybe Soonyoung has some catching up to do.

“I guess that, too. Mostly just me never voicing my dislike about certain things in our relationship and you knowing all of it, but never mentioning it.” It almost feels weird talking about the painful truth of their three year-long relationship so nonchalantly, as if it didn’t claw at Soonyoung’s heart, slowly taking pieces of him and threatening to swallow him whole. Jihoon’s hand comes to rest on his cheek and when Soonyoung meets his eyes, he’s almost overwhelmed by the sincerity he sees. 

“We really came close to ruining each other, huh? And yet...” Jihoon’s voice cracks on the last two words and his eyes shift away, Soonyoung immediately placing a reassuring hand on Jihoon’s. “And yet, here we are. Willing to try again. Willing to be better.” Soonyoung finishes for Jihoon, inching his face closer to Jihoon’s with each word. There is hardly any space left between them, Soonyoung waiting for Jihoon to close the gap.

“For you. For us.” The words ghost over Soonyoung’s lips, before the feeling is replaced by the softness of Jihoon’s lips. He knows they have a lot ahead of them, a lot of conversations that will hurt them both, but he’s willing to lay his heart on the line if Jihoon does the same because he knows that way they’ll make it through. Soonyoung believes in them, but a small part of him knows that if they fall back into their old habits, he will still stay.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first attempt at soonhoon, so pls let me know what you think? thank you for taking the time to read this mess asdfghjkl <3 this isn't proof-read so i apologise for any mistakes ahh o.O


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